Tuesday August 28, 2012

Workout: 30DS level 1
Weight:?

Ugh, I am really out of shape.  I consistently worked out over the summer, but I really only ran 2-3 times each week, i think.  And it was all treadmill running because it was the most incredibly blasted hot summer in my life (temps in the mid 90s-100's for 5 weeks straight).  And I was running slowly and at 0 incline.

So when i went to run outside last week - for the first time in a few months - it was not pretty.  Or pleasant.  At all.  I sucked really bad.  I couldn't run a mile straight.  I walked a lot.  And I ended up running 3.17 miles in 40 minutes.  2 days later I ran the same route in 38 minutes, so a bit of an improvement, but still struggled throughout the entire run.  Soooo out of shape.

I did well with my weight throughout the summer until I went to Vegas in the middle of July.  We had a whole lot of delays the night we flew in and ended up not eating from 3pm our time until 2:30am our time... and the only things open were food court garbage.  And that set the course for the weekend of eating garbage - not a ton, but just crappy food.  And I came home at 131 (left at 126/127).  And I've struggled to get those pounds off.  We had vacation 2 weeks ago and ate ice cream every night.  Came home and weighed 133.  So now I'm back to where I was last summer, but not feeling quite as content about it.  I feel disgusting about myself - I don't feel good in my skin.  I don't feel confident at all.  

So last week (first week of school) I got back to eating super healthy - lots of plants, clean menu plan on e-mealz.  This week I started counting calories on mfp again.  

I really, really wish I could be doing P90x, but I have an injury inside my right elbow and I'm not sure I should be doing it.  I am running outside - 3 miles - and doing 30 Day shred 2 days a week and yoga 1 day.  I'm counting calories now, but next week I'm going to get serious about making sure I'm eating at regular intervals and meeting my calories (goal is 1600/day).   

I was flipping out about all of this yesterday because it seemed so overwhelming and like it would never happen, but then I was reminded while reading The Me I Want To Be, by John Ortberg, that its not in my control - nothing is in my control.  And that i don't need to do everything right now this very minute.  And i don't need to plan my life so far ahead - just worry about today and do what I need to do today.  Surrender my will, my health, my finances, my everything to jesus.  Let him worry about it - because no amount of worry is going to solve the problems I perceive that I have.

So here we go - mission is to get back into good running shape and to get back down to 125.  And to live today.