Thursday, May 31, 2007

Day 32

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 32 -
Workout: LBWO

I"m having a really difficult time hitting my 10's on my lower body exercises.

Quads: I do pretty heavy squats for quads, but then for my second exercise - which is supposed to be the 10 - I can only get 55lbs on the weight bench- I cannot fit more weights on it for the quad lifts. I've increased my squat weights, but it hasn't gotten me back to the 10 point on the lifts.

Hamstrings: I'm doing romanian deadlifts for my first/main exercise. I'm not sure if I'm using the proper form and am going to have to go on a website to investigate more. My second exercise is curls and I've increased my weight on that the last few workouts. Today I curled 27 pounds and I did 15 reps in order to get to my 10.

Calves: I have yet to reach a 10 for this muscle. I've been doing the one leg calf raises on the stair for my main exercise. I've increased my weights and felt like I was doing a 9+ to a 10 on my second set of 12 reps. Then I did angled calf raises for the second exercise and used 65 pounds and hardly felt it. Either I'm not using proper form or I'm doing something else wrong, because I should be at least feeling something at 65 lbs.

Abs: Not interested in reaching a 10 on this:) On the tracker website this is where so many people focus and thats great, I just have no desire at this point to do a million crunches to get there. Maybe I will in the future, but for now I don't. I hate crunches.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Day 31

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 31 -
Workout: HIIT - 5.24 miles in 20:00

Started out my workout doing rpms at 75, 80, 85, and 90 and had a difficult time maintaining the last two minutes at those speeds. I got close again the second time through, but by the third time I just couldn't get it up there and backed it down to 70, 75, 80 & 85 and did 96-99 rpms on my 10 minute. My butt and thighs are burning!

Felt good to be back to clean eating yesterday. I went out with Julie and Jean last night and they had nachos that looked so good, but I ate dinner beforehand for just that reason - I didn't have any nachos, but I did eat the jalepeno peppers off of them (vegetables) and made sure there was nothing additional hanging onto the jalepenos (like cheese, refried beans or guacamole). I also had a beer, but I don't feel terrible about that. Then they ordered key lime pie... it looked too good so I had two bites. I wanted to finish what was left on the plate and I thought about it a couple of times, but then I reminded myself that I am not controlled by food anymore - and I left it alone. I was happy to have the two bites, probably shouldn't have... okay, not probably - I shouldn't have had them. So in the end I was a bit controlled by food until I reminded myself to not be. This is hard.

So again, I am here today to remind myself that I am not controlled by food. Food is fuel and it is best for me to choose the best fuel for my body, rather than junky fuel that will make me tired and burn out quicker. Good food in = high energy and high efficiency.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Day 30

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 30 -

Workout: UBWO

We're beginning week 5 right now... Did not take photos or measurements over the weekend because of the holiday weekend. I gave in and made yesterday (Memorial Day) a free day also - although it wasn't quite as obnoxious as Sunday. I just allowed myself to eat when I wanted to rather than on schedule and to have a few cheetos and a cookie here and there. Nothing major, but didn't stay on plan, either. I started out doing well, but we were working in the bedroom and it just wasn't going to happen. I need my routine - thats all there is to it.

I told Cornbread yesterday that if I don't see any changes at the end of these 12 weeks - not necessarily in the weight number, but SEE changes in my photos - I'm going back to Weight Watchers. I'll continue to do the workouts the same way and I'll try to incorporate the diet as much as possible, but I am beginning to freak out a little bit, truthfully. I keep telling myself that I have to have faith that this is going to work... I just didn't want to be this big fat lard for the summer, but oh well - its not as if things would have been a whole lot different if I wasn't doing this.

All I know is that I don't want to be someone who is "trying to lose weight" for the rest of my life. I want to either get down to the weight/body that I desire and stay there or be happy with how I am. I see so many women who have been "trying to lose weight" for 20 years and it is just a constant struggle and always a part of their lives. I would like to get to a point where I am just exercising to maintain and really seeing food as fuel and as a necessary part of my daily life - rather than living for eating. I'm sick of being controlled by food... and that is what I like about BFL - I don't feel controlled by food. On my free days, I do... but I can't give up my free days. It is such a hard balance to strike. I'm going to have to come on here every day to give myself a pep talk about food = fuel, rather than my god-given right to eat whatever I want and to give into my sugar cravings.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Day 26

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 26 -

Workout: HIIT - 5.20 miles in 20:00

I increased my rpms by 5 today so I was doing 70, 75, 80, 85 (Wednesday I did 65, 70, 75, 80). I think this worked out better - I felt it was a better workout than Wednesday, my heartrate was up and I went a further distance. I think I need to try to increase this next week as well to 75, 80,85, 90 - I know that is going to be hard since it is already difficult to maintain 85 rpms for a full minute at times. My 10 minute was between 95 & 100 rpms.

By the end of every week, my eating gets a little worse. I haven't cheated in any major way, but I want to so badly. Yesterday afternoon I looked at the cookies in the cupboard and was going to grab one because I wanted to and I was sick of not being able to eat what I wanted, but then I reminded myself that I could have one on Sunday and closed the cupboard. Good for me:)

I did the 3 oz tuna packet yesterday. It was probably a better portion size for me so I will have to stick with that. I added a little bit of caesar dressing and some salt and pepper and had it on a light rye Wasa cracker. It was okay. I have yet to find the perfect thing to add to the tuna to make it enjoyable. I tried it with mayo the other day and put it in a salsa pita - the tuna with mayo made me want to vomit, but since I refuse to waste food by throwing it away, I reminded myself that it was "fuel" and choked it down - the pita made it a little better actually. I really want to enjoy it, I just can't figure out how exactly to do it.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Day 25

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 25 -

Workout: UBWO

Changed some of my exercises around. I think I need to increase some of my weights and I'll be good. My arms are definitely sore and tired after working out this morning - and a bit trembly.

I was thinking about how I've read that this process is 80% diet and only 20% workout. Thats kind of discouraging to me because I never feel confident that I'm eating correctly. I'm never confident that my portions are appropriate or that I haven't added something to my food that may mess the whole thing up. You're supposed to measure portions based on your open palm (minus fingers) for protein and your fist for carbs... okay, so that would probably be one egg for me - but I'm eating 1 yolk and 3 whites. Am I eating way too much? I would never be satisfied or filled up on just one egg with my portion of carbs (oatmeal). What about my tuna for lunch? I've been eating a whole 6oz can - is this too much? So what am I supposed to do? Eat half and put the other half away and smell up the fridge? (I actually bought some 3 oz cans last night). What about the carbs to go with it? I've been eating the Wasa crackers - 2 of them. Too much? Do I break 1/4 of one off? How do I know? And then there is dinner and the shakes and bars... Shakes and bars are in preportioned containers - are they too much for me? Each of them are 180 calories and I add nothing to them... And dinners have been a meal from the EFL cookbook - and they're hard to portion out, too.

I saw on the BFL website that in order to lose fat and gain muscle I should be eating 1620 calories a day. I really, really do not want to start counting calories. That sounds miserable to me. I'm just not confident that I'm eating right - and I don't know how to get it right. Its very frustrating.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Day 24

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 24 -

Workout: HIIT - 5.10miles in 20:00

I tried doing the intensity intervals on my own today by increasing my pedaling speed with each minute. I was able to do it just fine, but obviously I did not travel as far as I had the previous time. The time went a lot faster this way, but I'm not sure which way would be better - it would probably be better to do it the way I did today, but to increase each interval speed. I will try that on Friday. Its not the distance that concerns me, it was the way I felt while doing it - I didn't feel like I was working hard - except on my 10 minute - and my pulse was not high enough. My legs were also exhausted from my workout yesterday.

I woke up this morning and thought about how great I feel. I really do. I'm sleeping really well at night - although not long enough - and my body just feels good. I have energy throughout the day and I don't hit a tired spot during the afternoon or early evening. I never feel like my blood sugar is crashing and I want to just take a nap. I don't have that urge to snack from 3:00 until dinner (truthfully sometimes I WANT to do that, but I don't feel like I NEED to do it). I'm not hungry throughout the day, but I'm not overly full. I may not look the exact way that I want to look, but my body feels strong and healthy and I know I'm making changes for the better.

Last night Georgia and I stopped at Mark & Heather's new business - Dinner By Design - and picked up 4 premade dinners: Asian BBQ Salmon, Asian Turkey Burgers, Sweet & Sour Meatballs & Bourbon Glazed Pork Chops. Those were the only meals that I thought would be somewhat acceptable... I figured this would be a good option for our Sunday meals, instead of going out or getting take out. They'll hopefully be quick to prepare and really tasty. This way we're not going totally overboard on our freeday with processed and restaurant food. Usually when it comes to Sunday evening it is more of an issue of me not feeling like cooking or not having anything in the house to make - not that I'm craving more crappy food. I don't include Sundays on my menu calendar, so I just don't have the food in the house. Now I will. I think these will be good alternatives and they will be close to approved foods. Honestly I could have some of the non-approved dinners, but I didn't want to. They didn't sound good and I think that it is time that we clean up our free day a bit (at least for myself). So we'll try this alternative and I'm looking forward to trying the food:) In addition, it is a tangible way that we can help our friends with getting their new business off of the ground.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Day 23

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 23 -

Workout: LBWO

Got my workout done in 48 minutes this morning - thats pretty quick compared to most other days. I think I'm getting a better handle on my calves. I did one leg raises and then used the barbell to lift 50lbs in angled calf raises. I don't think I hit a 10 on that, but it is at least harder than previous exercises. I think the one leg raises really make a huge difference. I also used flat weights under my toes for my squats - that makes a huge difference, too. Wow. I could feel the squats before, but this was more intense than that. You're supposed to place your weight on your heels while doing squats and by putting the weight under your toes you have no other option.

I have been working out really hard with the weights. I'm really hoping to see some - even small - changes this weekend when I measure and take pictures.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Day 22

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 22 -

WO: HIIT - 5.34miles in 20:00

The bike is still stuck on level 5 resistance, so I'm extremely surprised that my distance fell in line with what I was normally doing. Pretty amazed, actually:) My 10 was TOUGH. I went from doing between 77-83 rpm during the rest of the time, to doing 99-102 rpm during that minute. It was hard and I was spent - breathing and legs. Seems like by doing the whole workout at level 5 resistance, my butt was being worked more - I don't normally feel it there, but I sure did today. Cornbread is going to try to take the bike apart to see if he can figure out how to fix that problem.

Back to eating clean today. Our free day wasn't too bad, although we did have a birthday party for Ryann on Saturday night which included chips, pizza, ice cream cake & beer. I did not over do any of it and in fact, I opted out of having ice cream that afternoon after Nora's graduation - everyone else had some, I did not, so I was proud of that decision. Cornbread's free day began right around that time on Saturday and I held off until after church - however, I did not get all of my meals in and I did steal a few fries and a chicken nugget from the girls' lunch (McDonalds - I had a chicken sandwhich - ordered grilled, got crispy). So I had a good breakfast and a decent lunch on Saturday, no mid morning or mid afternoon meals - not on purpose, just due to scheduling.

Sunday wasn't too bad, either. Cornbread had nursery so we just had cereal for breakfast, then brunch for lunch (Uncle Floyd's birthday party), and leftover pizza for dinner. The brunch was horrible so I had a few bites of this and few bites of that, but mainly waffles and pineapple - so not too bad. Didn't snack a whole lot yesterday, but did have a couple of cookies in the morning and some ice cream after dinner. As a whole, my free day was not awful, so I'm not upset about it.

Today begins week 4. I will take pictures and measurements at the end of this week and I'm going to allow myself to have some beer on Monday next week (Memorial Day), but am going to try to continue to eat clean that day. I want to control my portions, cut the cheese out of my eggs, and eat on schedule this week. I don't think I have any kind of scheduling conflicts that will hinder those goals.

I'm still having faith that this program works for others and it is going to work for me. I have not seen a whole lot of change, but I'm going on faith that I will see some changes at the end. I have already concluded that I will not have the body that I ultimately want at the end of 12 weeks - those before and after photos are of people who are hardcore and I'm not willing to do that. But I'm hoping that I will see some changes - last time we did this I only got 6 weeks into it and I was starting to see muscles in my arms, so I know it was happening. This time, though, I'm 15 lbs heavier so it is going to be slower. I'm committed to doing this for longer than 12 weeks - hopefully at least a year. I just can't imagine going back to eating like we used to - we both feel so much better eating and working out this way, we have no reason to discontinue.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Day 20

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 20 -

Workout: UBWO

Not much to say on this today. I need to continue to eat clean until after church - it is going to be hard since my in-laws are going to be in town. I find that getting all of my meals in on Saturdays is difficult. I also find it an easy time to excuse poor eating. I need to stay on track today and make sure I don't overdo it over the weekend. I need to remember that I'm not obligated to eat like a hog on my free day, but that it is the one day that I don't have to be worried about what I eat. We are having pizza and ice cream cake for Ryann's birthday tonight and then are going to a birthday luncheon for Uncle Floyd tomorrow. I don't have to cram in a bunch of cookies and candies in addition to that - although it is okay to have one here and there, it is not okay to make decisions to get them just because I can and I won't be able to tomorrow.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Day 19

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 19 -

Workout: HIIT - 5.30 miles in 20:00

My hamstrings hurt so badly I could hardly get out of bed. Walking is not difficult, but the process of lifting my legs to get them to the edge of the bed really hurt. Lets see, the rest of my body is in full pain mode, too. I think my triceps have stopped hurting, but right now my neck, my shoulders (trapezius), my back (deltoid), hamstrings, and lower back all hurt. I think this is a good sign that I hit my 10's yesterday. Also probably a sign that I might not have the absolute proper form for some exercises, so I should work on that.

Did my HIIT this morning and halfway through the workout the bike stopped changing resistance. I think the batteries need to be replaced. It got stuck at a resistance of 5, so at least it wasn't 3 or 2:) I wasn't able to do the intervals then, but I maintained a fast pace at resistance level 5 and then for the normal minute that I should be doing my 10 I sped up for the entire minute and wanted to die. Between my breathing and my hamstrings and quads BURNing, I wanted to die. Luckily it was only for a minute. Thinking back, I probably could have figured out a way to do the intervals, but I was okay doing it the way I did.

I'm feeling good - Like I'm doing this right. I need to clean up my eating a little bit. Last night I had 2 1/2 mini cookies at the mall and I've been having a small dish of the mango apricot granola with my shake in the afternoon. I don't think I can keep that stuff in my house anymore since I'm having a hard time resisting it (its gone) - but Georgia LOVES it, but she also makes a mess. So I don't know about buying it again... I've also been adding a small amount of cheese to my eggs in the morning and I should probably quit doing that. I'll have to think about it:)

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Day 18

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 18
Workout: LBWO

Still having a hard time hitting my 10's for calves. I changed up my exercises for hamstrings so that now I'm doing deadlifts for the main exercise and curls for the second. This seems to work well, but I don't feel the deadlifts in my hamstrings - just in my forearms. I tried lifting 70, 75, 80, 85, but didn't make it past 80lbs due to my forearms. My curls were still a 10, though, so obviously it is doing something. Perhaps I should try to lower my weights a bit to see if I can feel something while doing it slow in proper form.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Day 17

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 17 -

Workout: HIIT, 5.34 miles in 20:00

My legs were so tired this morning. I had a hard time ramping up my workout because they were sore and tired. I did, though, and managed to get to 5.34 miles, which is awesome. My heartrate is consistently over 170 (according to the pulse thing on the bike, which I'm not ever sure is reliable), which is what I aim for in a good cardio workout. And I've been sweating, so thats good.

I've also been doing a good job with eating clean. I never know if I'm eating too much or too little - I really wish there was a concrete meal plan for me to follow so I would know I was doing it right. I'm kind of gauging it on the fact that I'm not terribly hungry throughout the day, but I'm hungry enough at each meal time to be eating. Based on what I'm reading on the tracker site, this should be a good amount of food. I have not posted anything there, but I read, read, read and try to gain as much insight as possible through others' posts. It has been helpful - I've learned new things and it is encouraging to see others struggling through the first few weeks and being encouraged to stick with it because they will eventually see results. I have this nagging thought in the back of my mind that this plan works for others, but that I'm not doing everything correctly so it isn't going to work for me. But then I'll read a post from someone who is on week 5 and has not lost a pound and keeps going, or a post from someon who didn't lose any weight throughout the first 8 weeks and then it started melting off. I get the energy and the will to continue, then. At times, though, I've thought that I should just take the 2 months to do Weight Watchers hard core, lose the 15 pounds that I want to lose and THEN get back to BFL... but I know my dedication won't be the same since I had such a hard time being motivated with WW over the last year. And again, I have to remember that this isn't about the weight number itself, but living a healthy life - and I'm doing that through BFL, not always through WW.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Day 16

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 16 -

UBWO this morning. I'm changing my exercises up. I'm trying to find the exercises that will work more than one muscle per exercise. But that means that I have to figure out the appropriate weights for each exercise. On a couple I was too light in my guesses, on a few others I was too heavy. I'll get it figured out - trial and error, I suppose.

Felt better getting back on the eating plan yesterday. The tuna experiment is still going... I'm not going to say that I love it or enjoy it, but I don't hate it. I have yet to find the best combination of stuff to add. Yesterday I added peppers and onions, some mustard and some bbq sauce... peppers = not good, but the onions were.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Day 15

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 15 -

Did my HIIT this morning. 5.31 miles in 20:00. Definitely hit a 10 on minute 18.

I had a rough eating period last Thursday, Friday and Saturday. On Thursday I ended up being so busy throughout the day that I skipped 3 meals and my dinner meal was not spectacular - I grabbed something out of the fridge when I got home from nathan's play at 9:45 (leftover chicken nuggets and french fries), then I was still hungry so I had a bar before I went to bed. Missed all of my meals between breakfast and dinner.

Friday we went to Doug's graduation at UIC - had to be downtown by 8:30am with 3 children. Ugh. We made it. Had breakfast, but then missed our mid morning meal, went out for lunch where I had a huge grilled chicken salad with a tiny bit of ranch dressing. It had a couple of tortilla strips (that would be the extent of the carbs for the meal), avocado (shared with Georgia) and some cheese. And I had a beer. Not the best meal, but probably my best option on the menu. Since it was so huge and I ate it all, I considered it my mid morning meal, my lunch and my mid afternoon meal. I don't even remember how I did for the rest of the day.

Saturday we drove to Detroit for the weekend. Left in the morning after having a good breakfast. Had to stop at Target and while I was there I figured we should have some decent food in the car for our mid morning and lunch. It was tough - its not a super Target, so I could only get what they had... I ended up with Beef Jerkey and whole wheat english muffins. Not too bad, but not the best. Then we each had a bar for lunch and really didn't eat anything again until around 6:30 when free day began.

Saturday night began freeday. Big, huge steak, cheesy potatoes, corn on the cob for dinner. Hung out with Mike and Cara - beer and cheesecake bites. Mmmm. Sunday was whatever - big dinner after church and garbage in the car on the way home.

I'm sick of free day. They hadn't been that bad until this weekend. Oh well - at least we had a special reason and great people to share it all with.

I need to buckle down with my eating. Making sure that I get the correct portion sizes and eat a little cleaner than I have been.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Day 13

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 13 -

LBWO this morning. I switched to one leg calf raises for calves and I felt it a whole lot more. I don't think I reached a 10, but as I figure out the correct weight set, I will eventually get that 10.

No time to say much more. Have not been doing a good job of eating for the last 2 days. I've been eating well, when I eat, but I've been so busy since Thursday afternoon that I've ended up skipping a lot of meals. Today we're going to Detroit, will try to stay on top of the eating schedule today, but it will be hard in the car and at someone else's house.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Day 12

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 12 -
No weight change. Its buggin me.

HIIT this morning - 5.27 miles in 20:00. My legs were TIRED and sore while I was doing it.

Gotta keep having faith that eventually there will be a change.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Day 11

Beginning Date - April 30, 2007
Ending Date - July 20, 2007

Day 11 -

Did my UBWO this morning and hit some 10's. My arms are like jelly right now. I'm going to switch up my exercises next week as I'm not convinced that the little pull down dealy is the most effective way to do some of these. I also read on the tracker forum that multi-muscle exercises are better than single - so instead of doing bench press for my main chest exercise, I should do butterflies and then bench press. Its also nice to change things up a bit once in a while.

Other than that, things are going well. I was telling Cornbread last night that my sugar cravings are gone - I haven't touched or wanted to touch a piece of chocolate since the second free day. I enjoy a cookie here and there on free day, but I'm not feeling like they are staring at me every time I open the cupboard anymore. When I've done weight watchers in the past I have needed to have a couple of m&m's every day - just 5 and thats it - but I have not needed that at all through this. This is a good thing - especially since there are two pieces of cheesecake sitting in my refrigerator right now! They aren't tempting me,which is amazing!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Day 10

Beginning Date - April 30, 2007
Ending Date - July 20, 2007

Day 10 -

Did my HIIT this morning on the bike. I biked 5.23 miles in 20:00 - its apparent by my time that my legs were tired. It was a lot harder today as my legs were so sore and tired from my LBWO yesterday. It was a lot harder.

Yesterday I found a profile on the bfl tracker website that closely resembles my body type and my measurements. She's 5'2", began at 145 (10lbs more than me) and looks to have a very similar body as I do. Over the course of 3 or 4 challenges she got down to 118 and 19% body fat and looked amazing. She then had a year off and got back up to 148 lbs and is restarting. In looking at her progress log, she seems to lose a lot of weight each week - like 5lbs the first week, in this last challenge she lost 15 lbs in 6 weeks after a year of inactivity and laziness (her words). I don't know how to do that, but whatever works for her. Anyway, it was really encouraging to me to see her transformation knowing that she is physically very similar to me. If she can get to a size 2 and not have big huge thighs at the end of this, then I can, too. It takes determination, committment and faith.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Day 9

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 9 -

I skipped working out yesterday. We did such major hard yardwork over the weekend - both Saturday and Sunday that by yesterday morning I was physically exhausted and very sore. I also have a cold, which made getting out of bed seem even more unappealing. So I slept - and felt a twinge of guilt all day. I also did not do so well with eating. I missed my mid-morning meal and my mid-afternoon meal. I was outside doing more yardwork in the morning and didn't get inside until noon and by the time I took a shower and had the girls fed for lunch it was 1:00 - so I wasn't going to try to shove in two meals in a short time, especially since I hadn't worked out in the morning. Similar situation in the afternoon.

Today I did my LBWO. I switched to squats for my main quad exercise and lifts as my second. I totally hit a 10 on that and it felt awesome! Hamstrings were good - I'm doing romanian deadlifts for my second exercise and I found some tips on how to do it on the tracker website. I think I hit a 9 on those, but thats better than before. Calves - I'm still struggling with these. I did seated calf raises for the main exercise and hardly felt like I was doing anything - and I did 40,50,60 & 70, then back to 60. I'm going to have to just suck it up and do the one leg raises for the main exercise. I'm feeling good!

I looked at my pictures on the computer yesterday. I was pretty amazed at how fatty I am - like I have a layer of fat all over my body. My inner thighs are enormous and always have been. I wasn't upset after seeing the photos - I think I just saw me for who I am. It will be encouraging if I see some sort of changes over the next weeks. I just have this deep down fear that this plan works for other people, but for some reason it is not going to work for me - like I must be doing something slightly wrong, or like I just have so much to change that it isn't going to work. I need to just continue on and have faith that I will see some results and it will work. One thing I know, though, is that I'm not going to see hugely dramatic results at the end of 12 weeks - I may see a difference, but I'm not going to be 10% body fat by then. It is going to take several 12 week challenges to get to that point and I've committed to myself and out loud to Cornbread to do this for a year - maybe taking a couple of breaks here and there. I'm glad that I've tweaked my eating by taking out the cheese and cutting the portion sizes. I don't struggle with the food or the eating part, its all good for me.

And I enjoy my free day, but we aren't gorging ourselves like we did in the past. I find it to be a good excuse to eat ice cream and some cookies and pancakes. All things that we had been eating normally anyway, but on a more regular basis. Now I just make sure that I'm not eating any of it throughout the week knowing that I can have some on Sunday. And it is nice to have one very relaxed day of eating - I don't have to think about protein and carbs and what time I'm eating and if I'm eating all of my meals, etc. It doesn't bother me throughout the week, but it sure is nice to not have to think about it on Sunday, too.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Day 6

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 6 -

Did my UBWO this morning. Increased my weights on a couple of groups, am still trying to figure out the right weight sets for these new exercises - back and triceps. Am feeling like I'm working hard - I'll never know if I'm really hitting 10's, but I'm working hard so I'm good with that.

Last night we had a Trader Joe's Cabernet pot roast. I'm not sure if it would be considered a legal/approved BFL cut of beef... It was very good and I was proud of myself for eating the correct portion size rather than eating as much as I wanted. Of course it helps when the roast is small and Nora eats more of it than I do:)

We took our pictures last night. I'm not totally embarassed by what I saw. I am short and squatty - thats all there is to it. I'm thankful, at least that I'm fat all over and I don't have areas that are much bigger than others - like my stomach doesn't stick out, my hips don't stick out, my bum isn't falling out of the bottom of my swimsuit etc. I'm just big all over - arms, torso, hips, butt, thighs, calves, etc. everything except my head which looks tremendously small in the picture:) I want to continue to take photos - at least every 4 weeks if not more often, but I suspect that we'd see more of a change if we did every 4 weeks rather than every week. Its just a matter of remembering to do it... I want to see improvement. I'm putting my faith in the program that if I do it correctly, I WILL see improvement and seeing that improvement with give me motivation to go on.

I should really sit down and write out some goals. I'll have to do that tomorrow.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Day 5

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 5 -

I've been kind of perusing the body for life tracker website for a few days. Looking at peoples' photos and their progress logs. I am amazed at some of these women and the things they are accomplishing and the difference in the way they feel about themselves. Yesterday I read one woman's profile/progress log who began her BFL challenges at 46 years old with lots of health problems and pain (fibromyalgia among other things). The more she did BFL, the better she felt - healthwise. Her pain went away and within a few months she no longer needed to take the 22 pills that she had been taking every day. And she didn't have a whole lot of weight to lose. I read about another woman who was 52 when she began and she completed a year of BFL just recently. Her transformation in the photos was pretty incredible. I guess in reading these things, I am feeling like if they can do it, so can I. If a 52 year old woman who had fat, flabby skin can firm up the way she did - then I can try to firm up, too. I want to see how different I look on my 32nd birthday. I'm hoping that I will have amazing results to share, too.

I did my HIIT this morning. Rode 5.35 miles on the bike in 20:00. I could tell that I was tired and that my legs were tired. I really pushed it in the end so I could at least get close to my previous distances.

I think I am getting a cold. Last night my throat was pretty scratchy and this morning I can feel some post nasal drip going on in the back of my throat. I haven't had a cold in a long, long time. I hope this doesn't sidetrack me.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Day 4

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 4 -

Yesterday the tuna was not so good - it wasn't bad, but I could definitely taste tuna. I added salt, pepper and Mrs. Dash table seasoning blend and a little onion salt. Didn't mask it well enough. Today, unless I find something else, I will be going back to chili powder and maybe some crushed red pepper.

Did my LBWO this morning for the first time on our new weight bench. The quad lifts were fantastic - for the first time ever I feel like I was able to lift enough to fatigue my muscles and I didn't even increase my weight set. Must be the way it is positioned, the height of the bench and the fact that I can incline the bench. Struggled with hamstrings - couldn't figure out how to do the curls correctly, then Cornbread came down and pulled a bar out and voila, perfect. I'm struggling with finding a second exercise for hamstrings. I could do lunges, but since you only do one leg at a time it takes a lot longer. I have been doing deadlifts, but I'm not sure I'm doing them the right way and I don't really feel anything. I did the deadlifts today with 40lbs in each hand. I didn't feel much - which is why I think I MUST be doing them wrong. I'm also continuing to struggle with fatiguing my calves. I've been doing the angled calf raises and then the one leg raise for the second exercise. The one leg raise is better and more effective for me, but again you have the issue of it taking longer because it is one leg at a time. Cornbread says, "Its not about how long it takes but about doing it right." I will have to remember that before my next LBWO and plan to do the one leg raises.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Day 3

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 3 -

Another good day yesterday. I survived the tuna once again and it really wasn't too bad. I am using whole chunk tuna in water, I added some salt, pepper and chili powder and had it on rye krisps. It wasn't bad. I'm not going to go so far as to say that I enjoyed it, but I didn't gag. I was looking at the nutrition label and it really is a great food - 15g of protein per serving (I think I have 2.5 servings at lunch (1 can) and there is almost 0 carbs, no sugar (obviously) and it is fish so it has the omega 3 fatty acids that are so good for us.

I made the oriental chicken salad from the EFL book yesterday. It was alright. Instead of putting the chow mein noodles on it for carbs I put it in a whole wheat pita. I probably should have only eaten half of a pita, but I chose to eat a whole pita. It was okay - not spectacular, but not horrible. Too bad it is on the menu for the rest of the year:)

Did my HIIT this morning on the bike. I went 5.38 miles in 20:00. It is really cool to see improvement with every cardio session. Even if it is only .10 of a mile, its cool to see improvement. It means that my legs are getting stronger and I am pushing harder with every workout.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Day 2

Beginning Date: April 30, 2007
Ending Date: July 20, 2007

Day 2 -

I survived the tuna yesterday! And the smaller portions and changed menu. I noticed in the afternoon that I wasn't starving like I had anticipated. It feels good to be on the right track and to know what I need to do. There are some foods in my life that are just dangerous and cheese is one of them... I like it so much that I find ways to add it to everything, or if a portion size is 2 oz I think, "Oh 2 1/2 oz isn't going to be THAT bad" and pretty soon I'm eating 3 oz of cheese. Anyway, its probably just best for cheese to be a free day food for me:)

I made the taco pasta salad for dinner last night and kept my portion sizes to my fist and my palm. I also added lots of lettuce and tomatoes and onions to fill up my plate. That helped a lot. I felt like I got enough food, but I wasn't hungry or stuffed afterwards. That was good. Tonight I will be making the oriental chicken salad. We haven't had that one yet, but I'm looking forward to it. The key for me will be keeping the chow mein noodles to the bare minimum (I love them).

I did my UBWO this morning. We got a new weight bench and it allows for some different exercises so I'm working on figuring out my weight sets for those. I was a little frustrated this morning in trying to figure out how to work things, but I think I have the hang of it. I'm thinking, though, that free weights seem to be a better option - I seem to do a better job of fatiguing my muscles and going to failure with the free weights. I will try these exercises again, though, and then decide after that.