Friends: The One with The Proposal
Tired today. And sore. Debated about getting up - had quite the argument in my head before I finally got myself out of bed. Ultimately, it is so much nicer to just be done and have it over with rather than trying to find time during the day to get a workout & shower in.
30DS was fine. I could tell my body was sore & tired while I was running though. I ran 2 miles at 5.0 and then walked the last half of a mile because I was sick of it.
Calves are sore today. Bottoms of my feet are still tender. I like being sore in different places because I feel like I'm getting a different or better workout, so I like it that my calves are sore - they normally are not. And they're sore on the inside of my leg, rather than the back. Body. is. tired.
Had an interesting conversation over email with a friend yesterday. She is the same height is me and weighs 155. She, too, has been trying to lose weight by eating 6 small meals throughout the day. She has had some initial success, but then it stopped. Anyway, while going over things via email she says: Wait - do you see that you're 122??? Are you not getting that? I mean is it the frustration of not being able to figure out how to lose those last couple of pounds? or are you seeing something in the mirror that doesn't match what is actually there?
Made me pause. Here was my response:
- Yes, I see that I'm 122! Believe me, its not lost on me! I"m happy with 122, but based on my body type, I wish I was slightly less... however, I've never been willing or able to get down past 119 and stay there. I'm just not willing to do what it takes, I guess. And I have to remind myself that no matter what my weight - 122, 110, 135, 145, I will always have the same body issues - just on a smaller or larger scale. I have big and long muscles but short distances from joint to joint (elbow to wrist / knee to ankle). So instead of being thin and lean, my long, big muscles look huge & I don't have those shapely calves/ankles that I would love to have and I feel like my arms look fat - even though I know I'm strong, it just doesn't translate. And I carry my weight in my hips and thighs... so while I have a small waist, which is awesome, my thighs always look huge. And finding jeans and shorts? Ugh - if they fit my thighs and butt, there is a gigantic gap in the waist. I need to have drawstring bottoms, but you can't find them very easily - when I do, I buy several in different colors. Anyway, all that to say - I'm definitely thrilled with 122, I guess I would - like you - like to be lean and fit with sexy definition! Just not sure that could ever happen for me. Based on that, though - I want you to tell me EVERYTHING those trainers tell you!!!!!! And I am so excited for you to do this - its going to rock! You're going to rock!
I've had the same feeling so many times - I just want someone to fix me. Just tell me what to eat and exactly what to do and I'll do it. I'm so sick of trying to solve the puzzle! At the same time, I get frustrated with the cost and inconvenience of eating a plant based diet. I don't care what people say - it is NOT cheaper. And it is totally a pain in the ass to replenish produce every 3-5 days instead of grocery shopping once a week. But I think it is the most healthy way to eat, so I need to suck it up and get past that.
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