Beginning Date: January 7, 2008
Ending Date: March 30, 2008
Total miles: 16.51 miles
Total squats: 2900
Weight: 132.6 (Monday)
Goal: 115
Workout: Chest/Shoulders/Triceps
Weight: 134.2
Goal: 115
Chest Press: 15, 12, 10 @ #5
Butterfly: 12, 10, 10 @ #4
Military Press: 9,9,8 @ #1
Reverse Fly: 3x15 @ #2
Press Down: 3x12 @ #3
BB Press: 3x12 @ 30lbs
I'm caught up on my squats!!!! Now I am only obligated to do 100 each day - that will be strange now that I'm kind of used to doing 200/day. Whatever, I'm proud of myself for catching up! It was tough:)
Weighed in this morning - not good. 134.2. I think my weekend in Memphis has caught up to me in addition to it being TOM. Oh, and the superbowl party last night didn't help at all.
I've been thinking about things... I've been trying to lose these last 10-15 pregnancy pounds for over a year now. I need to make a decision - I have to either get super serious about WW for the next 6 weeks OR be satisfied with weighing between 130-135 lbs and work out regularly, but no longer diet or try to lose weight. This is getting to the point of absurdity. I do NOT want to be the woman who is always trying to lose 10 lbs and I feel like that is what I'm becoming. I struggle with several issues:
* I can pretty easily maintain 130-135 without dieting, but with exercise
* When I look over the "low cholesterol diet choices" sheet that the dr gave me, we already make those choices - we rarely eat red meat (MAYBE once a week, but not usually), we choose lean cuts of meat, whole grains, veggies, no fried foods, no sugar cereals, sugar is limited, etc. etc. The only bad choice according to the worksheet is ice cream - and WW or no WW I'm not willing to give up ice cream for the rest of my life (why did I ever have to get pregnant? I never cared about ice cream before then, now I NEED it).
* While dieting - WW, BFFM or BFL - I find that I feel entitled to indulge in horrible food over the weekend because I've given it up during the week. I end up over doing it on Sat night/Sunday and ruin any progress I may have made during the week.
* My self confidence is based more on regularly working out, rather than my weight.
* Even if I weigh 120/115 I will not look fabulous in a swim suit and my problem areas (hips/thighs) will not magically go away - they'll just be a little smaller
* Even if I weigh 115/120 I will not have ripped arms like I dream of having
* What will life be like once I get down to that weight? In other words, what will I need to do to maintain it?
* As I get older and my metabolism changes, will I have a harder time maintaining 130/135?
* I spent 8 months living BFFM/BFL and I really believe that the concept is the best: 5-6 small meals /day made up of lean protein & complex carbs & veggies, eating enough calories to support the intense workouts. I really, really honestly believe it is the best way to be eating, but I can't do it anymore - it isn't practical for my life right now
* I am really sick of worrying about everything that I put in my mouth - regardless of whether I'm thinking about points or the macronutrient ratio of the food I'm eating
* I find that when I go to something like a superbowl party, I over indulge because I feel like I can't have those foods everyday, so I'd better "stock up" while I am giving myself permission - so I end up eating 3-4 cookies instead of just one
* I worry that if I stop WW and just eat whatever that I will eventually put on weight - that the discipline of trying to lose weight is what is helping me maintain
* Dave doesn't care if I lose any more weight
* My jeans are uncomfortable at 134.2 - so 130 is a very comfortable weight for me
I don't know what the right answer is. I feel like I would like to just hunker down and be serious about WW for 6 weeks - that means that our date nights would have to be somewhere like Applebees or Subway or something like that so I can count the points and not overindulge. Dave is totally fine with it. I'm going to see how it goes this week, I guess. If I give it a real try for 6 weeks I could lose 6-12 pounds, which would bring me down to 122/128 - either of which would be very comfortable. The problem is that 5 lbs on my body is a HUGE difference in terms of clothing size. So I guess for now the answer is I'll see how this week goes and think about it some more.
