Beginning Date: January 7, 2008
Ending Date: March 30, 2008
Total miles: 29.30miles
Total squats: 4000
Workout: Back/Biceps
Woke up late this morning so I only got the back/biceps/squats in - I skipped the body weight exercises that I normally do with this workout. My workout was decent - I just have a hard time feeling that it was a GREAT workout since it isn't as amazingly hard as it used to be with the BFFM workouts.
Yesterday I ran on the treamill - 3.755 miles in 45:00. I increased my speed to 5.4 mph for the entire running time except for the last 3 minutes that were at 6.5. This speed was a tad more difficult than 5.3 but not as laboring as 5.5. I think it was a good speed. Now I need to acclimate to this speed and increase again after that.
I think I'm pretty close to deciding to go hardcore Weight Watchers beginning next week. I have to fully commit, though, or it just isn't worth it. I may have to revise my goal weight. I'm finding that if I don't have the discipline of the scheduled eating and points then I just end up eating crap - like jelly beans, or pizza, or any manner of things. I tried having a bunch of fruit in the house and snacking on that and I did well with that until I brought the jelly beans in and decided that I wanted just one more scoop of ice cream at night...
I wouldn't say that I've been out of control or "all or nothing" but I think mainly I just want to get to about 125/130 and maintain that instead of maintaining 130/135. Five pounds makes a huge difference on my body and the way my clothes fit. Actually, I'm finding that 2-3 pounds makes a huge difference in how my clothes fit - which is why I'm willing to go back to WW for these 5-10 pounds. I just don't know if its realistic for me to be 115 or 105 (my ideal weight for my height according to everything I read). Would I love to be 105? Sure, but how in the world would I live life, love life and still maintain that weight? I think it would be miserable actually.
And I do want to make healthy choices rather than eating "treats". Part of my problem right now is that since I'm not on a structured plan, I give myself excuses to treat myself to jelly beans - thats my biggest problem. So I need some will power in the form of stopping myself from buying them to begin with and justifying the reason why I am doing it.
If I'm going to fully commit to WW for the next 6 weeks, I'm going to have to take some time over the weekend and totally plan things out. I may not be able to have a freer weekend than my weekdays. I may have to actually count points over the weekend rather than stopping on Friday night. That is always the difficult part for me - I don't want to count points over the weekend, but I may have to give in and understand that it is going to be necessary for success this time around... I still question, though, if I will be able to maintain whatever weight I get to after I get there if I don't stay on a structured plan. Honestly, I don't want to count points for the rest of my life. I want to make a lifestyle change - I don't want sugar to be so obssessive for me... I never craved sugar while I was doing BFL/BFFM, but I can't go back to that I don't think...
As I was telling Kim the other day, I think that WW gives me an excuse to make unhealthy choices. I can eat shit as long as I count the points and they fit within my daily allowance. That is not healthy eating. I want to just always eat healthy with maybe one or two free meals a week. This sucks.
